A Master Plan for Taking Back Control of Your Life

A Master Plan for Taking Back Control of Your Life

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Here are a series of tips and tricks that are guaranteed to put that spring back in to your step to get you to where you need to be in order to start taking back control of YOUR life today!

1. Take back ownership of yourself.

This is a lot easier said than done since this involves a lot of extricating yourself from a relationship where you’ve really been a passive participant, especially if you have been one for so long, in one or several relationships – it’s hard, but it’s absolutely necessary. 

The only way to move forward is to acknowledge the things that have happened to you—how you got where you are, and what you need to do that’s different from what you’ve done so far. 

STOP relying on reassurances, opinions, or the approval of friends, family, or a significant other… this is your life now and the only person whose opinion of you should matter is your own. Put that foot down now and tell yourself “this is my life, this is my life, this is my life!”

2. Create a healthy space between yourself and your relationships.

Admittedly, this is a hard thing to do since so much of who we are as individuals (or at least much of who I am) is tied up with and dependent upon our most significant relationships such as your boyfriend/girlfriend/other half. It’s often incredibly difficult to be emotionally attached to someone while still remaining somewhat removed psychologically and intellectually. But it’s essential. And often difficult, but if we want to start regaining control of our lives, this is something we absolutely MUST at least try and do.

3. Recognize and acknowledge your own worth.

One of the biggest obstacles I have found myself facing quite recently is that of validation – it’s crazy, because I know that I have talents and I am able to achieve so much on my own, but when it comes down to it, it doesn’t mean anything unless I am getting the validation from others. Sadly, this is something I have noticed in a lot of people (ok it was mostly my 5 year old nephew asking me over and over again whether or not I thought his photo was “awesome” which of course it was, but he wasn’t happy until I told him how much I loved it!) and it got me thinking about how we behave, act, and react in daily situations, whether it be in leisure, work, or at home… we all have specific abilities, talents, and skills but again, we need validation, which at times we don’t get from those we most want it from. When someone you count on for support refuses to acknowledge your positive qualities and abilities, it can undermine self-esteem and confidence. And so we must learn to acknowledge our own talents and stop relying on others for that – the opinion others hold of you does not define your worth.

4. Learn how to say ‘NO’.

This was a difficult one for me, I had gone 20 years saying ‘YES’ to every request made of me… Will you babysit the kids on friday night?! Will you lend me £50 so that I can go out tonight?! Will you help me with this? or that? Will you, will you, will you?!!? Until one day I said no, like it was the easiest thing in the world, and I kept on saying no, until I no longer felt guilty about it. And that’s what you need to do, too… It’s like that film, “yes man” with that guy whose name currently slips my mind – the whole point of the film is that he stops saying no and starts saying yes, which actually turned out to be a pretty shitty storyline because he gave practically all of his belongings away, blew all of his money sporadically and just became a chaotic and disorderly person… which is the opposite of what we are trying to achieve.

It’s okay to say yes, but only if it’s to yourself… and occasionally to that odd favour (but only if you really want to!)

5. Sleep until you feel fully rested.

Apparently, (ok so it’s scientifically proven blah-de-blah) 98% of us are actually fully rested after just 7 hours sleep… it sounds completely ridiculous, I know! 7 hours is definitely not enough for me to feel fully rested, and perhaps it isn’t for you either, so if 10 hours is what it takes, you go and you sleep 10 hours! 

Sleep, or lack thereof, affects more than we realise in day-to-day life, research has shown that lack of sleep actually affects impulse control, concentration, etc etc, and if you’re like me, someone who isn’t a stranger to dieting or the gym, then it affects the choices we make in our eating habits, too… in other words, that little red devil that’s sitting on your shoulder leaning in to your ear and telling you to eat that jam doughnut or custard slice is more likely to succeed in convincing you that they are in fact better than a piece of Grilled Chicken… and with a bikini to fit in by September, that just isn’t good enough… Sleep, sleep, sleep!!!

Something else regarding sleep that I have found is that my normal 8-10 hours is never enough to make me feel even 50% rested if I have stayed up late the previous night, often times it’s 3-4am when I finish my work and try and get some sleep and wake up feeling groggier than ever – do not make that mistake!

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Welcome to my little corner of the interweb. I constantly strive to chronicle my existence through written word; which is much of what you'll find here. xox

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Comments

  1. I need to get me one of these! Look so therapeutic, good way to have a chill out away from computer screens!

    Pippa | LittleLifestyle

  2. These have been everywhere lately! I have to say, I am tempted… Great post!

    http://www.musingsandmore.co.uk

  3. Absolutely love the skyline/city one, I have a coloring book like it but i really want that one now! Lovely post xoxo

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